First published back in August of 2006, US author M.P. Johnson’s ‘The Mutilation Of Paris Hilton’ was a limited edition chapbook (of which there were only 200 signed and hand-numbered copies published), containing three short stories by the author.
The chapbook was published by Freak Tension press with cover art by Peter Mihaichuk.
Punk Rock Mummy – 7 Pages
The moment they started bringing the mummy out on stage with them, the band was instantly projected into the limelight. It didn’t take them long to realise the fans were more interested in the dusty old mummy than they were with the raw punk music they’d been blasting out. Tonight’s gig was very much the same. The minute the mummy was unleashed on stage, the crowd went wild. Which was precisely the moment when frontman, Jack, noticed the crazy old guy from the other night, lurking in the audience. At that moment they knew things might get a little heated with that guy in attendance…
Opening up the chapbook we have this weird, wacky and insanely imaginative bizarro short story, depicting a punk band using an ancient mummy for their stage performance. Pretty much no explanation is given as to where the real-life mummy came from, how it happens to still be alive, or how the hell it manages to achieve what it does for the encore. The story is absolute oddball bizarro through and through, with no rhyme or reason given to anything that occurs. But it’s fun and imaginative and entertaining all the way to the very last sentence.
The short story was originally published in the ‘Theatre Of Decay – Issue 1’ (2005) underground zine.
Snailwart – 11 Pages
Adam hadn’t meant to pick up a new pet when he went out for some laundry detergent, but when he saw the water-dwelling snail, he just couldn’t help himself. Over time the snail became a comforting companion to Adam. He’d let it slither and climb over his hands, as he sat watching TV each evening. He couldn’t see the problem in it. That was, until the first wart appeared. Within days his hands were covered in them. Angry warts filled with pus, ready to burst at the slightest provocation. They made his hands look hideous. But worse still, he was the boss of a fast-food restaurant. Having his hands erupting pus and blood was not good for business. Even if the pus had some rather unique qualities to it…
Oh boy, this one’s a rancid treat. It’s all very ‘Garbage Pail Kids’, going for that repulsive gross-out vibe. It certainly achieves this mission to some degree. However, M.P. Johnson being the wacky author that he is, takes the whole thing one wild step further, giving the pus seemingly magical properties, enabling those who accidentally (or purposefully) swallow the pus, to be able to levitate, or shoot fire from their hands. Yep, it’s that kind of crazy shit we’re dealing with here. In the end we have nothing short of a B-Movie setup with customers sporting festering flesh, clambering over each other for another lick of that magical pus. Fucking wild!
The Mutilation Of Paris Hilton – 10 Pages
Justin had gotten the information about Paris Hilton’s whereabouts by pretending to be a journalist for a major entertainment magazine, stating he was working on a piece about the lifestyles of celebrity photographers. The truth was Justin hated Paris. He resented that he was a second shift restaurant manager and a barely known short story writer, whilst Paris Hilton just fluttered her eyelashes spouting “that’s hot” and everyone went wild. There was no talent in the girl. She wasn’t even that attractive. So, Justin would set the record straight once and for all. Together with his flatmate, they’d teach Paris a lesson. It was time for Paris to pay for her crimes against humanity…
Ending the chapbook we have the proverbial star of the show – the wildly over-the-top torture porn piece that is ‘The Mutilation Of Paris Hilton’. And to be fair, the title for the story is descriptively spot on. That’s exactly what this is. Essentially, Hideshi Hino’s ‘Guinea Pig: Flower of Flesh and Blood’ (1985), only with good old Paris Hilton as the main attraction. It’s brutal and uncompromising in the delivery of the almost unrelenting gruesome mutilation. An absolute exploitative offering, designed to provoke, shock and appal. To be honest, there’s not a huge amount more to it other than that. Grisly, nasty, torture porn which plays around with some horrifically imaginative ideas for enacting artist mutilation. Yeah, it’s pretty sick stuff.
The chapbook runs for a total of 28 pages.
© DLS Reviews
